That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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