i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
