Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
