I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
