Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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