Fuck appropriateness.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
COCAINE IS GR8
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
