Soap is not a condiment
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
