it wasn't lemon gatorade
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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