I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
