I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do vagina's smell?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
