So drunk its hurt
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
