Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
