oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
