Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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