Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
