im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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