Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
did i walk over a car last night?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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