4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
