(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
