real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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