I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
