theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize