words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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