Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize