So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
