I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
