she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
