Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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