We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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