she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
you had me at cake vodka
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
