my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
