so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
