If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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