i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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