he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
