She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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