i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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