Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize