Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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