i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize