dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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