My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
