Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
