Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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