i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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