sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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