We won't sleep together?
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
