so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
