I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
