Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize