when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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