lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
