when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
