so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
