Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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