Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
