Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
