2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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