Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
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