I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
