If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
