I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
