Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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