You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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