these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
