I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
smell my finger.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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