we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
