I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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