Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
