How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
