We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
