I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
