There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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