life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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