this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
