Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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