Little spoons don't ask big questions
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you didnt know i had herpes?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
