While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
