This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
