i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize