dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
