I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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