Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
